A7A hehehe

A-seven-A

A “7” A

Emm… Yeah exactly

I got a call by the editor asking me to write an opinion article on lucky number seven ..

Seven? As in 7 as in ..

Suffering a brain block amidst a mess I found myself in starting this year of 2013.. the first word that came to my mind was A-seven-A

Dammit I wont publish this.. but here goes

Our infamous slang word used to object or show frustration and anger (Recently used in dark sarcasm). But I don’t think it ever occurred to us to figure out the real meaning of this 3-letter expression?

Its literal meaning is the sound of a woman’s orgasm (or so they say). This sexual background is what gives “A-seven-A” a vulgar connotation to it. We use it all the time, and even attract other Arabic cultures to.

It’s like on the tip of your tongue

Justin Bieber … A-seven-A

Turkish series … A-seven-A

Breakups … A-seven-A

Wedding Season … A-seven-A

Shit weather in Cairo? … A-seven-A

Lose friends over politics … A-seven-A

Twilight … ?

Zombie movies… A-seven-A

Crash car…

Trash room…

Lose job … A-seven-A

Lose phone … A-seven-A

Lose your mind … A-seven-A

Lose purpose

Lose vision

Long cues

Dr.’s waiting room

Debates on religion

Stuck in traffuck for hours? … A-seven-A

Public displays of affection?

Cheesy pick up lines

Terrible customer service

Lovey-dovey idiots

Pushing doors that say pull

Expensive cupcakes?

Where was that light at the end of the tunnel?

Harrassment … A-seven-A

Useless traffic officers … A-seven-A

No daylight … A-seven-A

Kim Kardashian

Root canals

Paper cuts

Over-priced local bad design! A-seven-A

Betrayed

Lost

Nagging friends

Broadcast messages

Diamond dash

ALL FB games and invites

People’s rights?

Justice?

Visa refusals?

A-seven-A

Everyone complaining

Children whining

Rich people buying

Pope resigning

Body waxing

Morsi 3al Korsi

Holes in socks..

Granny panties

Its all the same

A-seven-A

I can name 101 things … A-seven-A

We even laugh while we say the word

A-seven-A

Happy Valentine’s day…

Homework

Insomnia

Maxing credit cards

Blonde jokes

Remy Martin Champagne Cognac (Awesomeness)

Teenagers taking over our nightlife

Hairdressers messing up

Crooks bailed out of jail

Monotony

Delicious Junk food

Curfews

Men and their eating manners

City stars

UGGS

CROCS

Midnight craves

Snoring

What do women WANT? A-seven-A

What a vulgar word.

I hope my parents never get to read this… A-seven-A

I’m bored A-seven-A

Coffee getting cold

Feeling fat

HUNGRY

Nasal voices

Squeaky voices

Why is “PH” pronounced “F”

Excessive photo-shoots of pregnant women

Over-worked cheesy couple photo-shoots

Heavy makeup

The only thing keeping us going is humor

And A-seven-A is here to help along

I hate my article this month

A-seven-A

Everybody is asking us to express ourselves

Especially the media

So here you go

 

My new addiction

Run Forest Run!

 

I still recall the day I first started running.. It wasn’t long ago, a group known as Cairo runners were prepping for a mini marathon, and my 16 year old brat of a sister would not stop nagging: “Come with me! Come with me!”

 

I had not budged for a while since I quit the tennis team and barely got over my eating disorders… The only form of running I ever knew, was running away. Running away from life. Running away to denial. And here I was standing among a large mass of people, at 7:00am, warming up, getting ready to hit the road and own the streets of Cairo.

 

First goal: 5 Kilometers

 

And before you know it… Here I am, running everyday since.

 

It’s tough, it hurts.. I had days where I could barely walk… and I absolutely love it!

 

But why running? The answer that sounds logic is weight loss or fitness.

And I could go on and on listing a multitude of benefits from the simplest, cheapest form of exercise; from boosting your immune system, lowering risks of blood clots, strokes, heart attacks, and breast cancer for women.

 

That would be enough to send us all sprinting. Yet, why not hit the gym? Go for a bootcamp? Play a sport? Swim?

 

The real reason to it was more intangible than any health or fitness outcome. I thought I was running to get fit.. But then I realized I was getting fit to run.

 

Its like running had its own raison d’être

 

I would get out of bed for the sheer pleasure of clearing my head and my system and going for that run.

 

Run off the weekend

Count the kilometers

Grab a friend

Make it count

 

As you run, the layers of responsibility and identity in your life melt away..

Jogging along a track, running through the busy streets of the city, splashing in puddles, dodging bumps, feeling the hot sun of this dusty city, or even running to the beat of your steps on the treadmill, you start feeling that inner childish joy. Something stirs inside you; you weren’t born to sit behind a desk or a screen and sip coffee. Everything starts fading away, your parents, friends, the doorman, the boyfriend, the job, the labels, all fall away, leaving you with the human being underneath. It’s a confronting unique feeling. At some given moments you will stop, amazed by how your heart is pumping and your mind is racing, struggling to leave it all behind.

I love watching small children when they are excited, at play, and mostly the way they can’t stop running. Back and forth, up and down, in pointless little circles.

This will to run is innate.

When you run, at a regular point both your feet are off the ground.. it’s incredible.. you can fly!

Go on, run harder, deeper into loneliness, further away from this world and the walls of your structured life. You get this feeling of being detached yet at the same time connected, connected to yourself with nothing but your two legs moving.

There’s this bug about running that you catch. It could be the beat of your feet on the ground that stirs the pleasure centers in your brain, or it could simply be the satisfaction of having done something good for yourself. Whatever that is, running is a delightful positive addiction.

 

So drop that coffee, get out of bed, skip the morning cigarette and have a good run.

La resistance

Resisting change

or

Resisting culture?

CHANGE change change

Improve Educate Motivate Move forward

The same keywords bombarding us over and over, yet you look around and what do you see? A big FAT NOTHING

But why?

Resistance

Why?

Because the ones calling for change are far from it and from setting the example for it (Or rather setting the wrong example)

People see the risk of change as greater than that of remaining still. Making a change requires a leap of faith to which you have no proof and people will only take active steps toward the unknown if they genuinely believe and FEEL that the risks of standing still are greater than those of moving forward. But with our leaders being so disconnected from us… how can we feel, let alone believe?

CHANGE

People have no role models (And you still wonder why our resistance, the very ones who claimed to fight for the country; could not unite and select one role model?) Do not underestimate the power of observational learning.  People do not need a dreamer.  Get up and show them something FOR A CHANGE

People feel connected to those who are identified with the old system 
(Hahaha which might come close to explain our beloved term “Feloul”) We are a social species (more of a mess really).  We like to stay connected to what we know. Try asking people in an organization to do things in a new way (Ha! Good luck!), as rational as that may seem to you, you will be setting yourself up against the wall, all those emotional links to those who taught them the old way will smack you hard in the face.  (Can’t seen to find a way around this so far)

WAKE UP

Overwhelm and fatigue can really kill a change effort. I believe I should quit smoking, but I’ve got so much going on at work, spend 4 hours driving to and from work, I live in Egypt with a mess of a life to keep up with, so it’s easy to put off my personal health (until my first heart attack or cancer scare, when suddenly the risks of standing still seem greater than the risks of change! hmm.. just one more ciggie?). 

SAY NO TO SELF DESTRUCTION

People fear they lack the ability to change.
This is one of the things people rarely admit, but they feel that they won’t be able to make the move.  They simply don’t think they can do it.  The hard part is most of them may be right in our situation (given their environment).  But successful change includes effective new training programs, designed to aid them move forward.

EDUCATE YOURSELF

People fear hidden agendas (Hahaha does that ring a bell?)
Let’s face it, not all reformers are to be trusted.  Perhaps even more frightening, some of the worst atrocities modern history has known were begun by people who believed they knew what was best for all of us (Welcome to EGYPT). 

Eh… Take a leap of faith?

People feel they are losing their status and the quality of life they were used to. Reshuffling the situation can bring winners… and losers.  Some people will gain in status, job security, quality of life, etc. and some will likely lose a bit. 

Its Life.. GET USED TO IT

People just believe that the idea of change in itself is a bad idea
   To win people’s commitment for  change, you must engage them on both a rational level and an emotional level. (Take the MBs for example, that is just what they focused on… BELIEF)

 A word to all you wise people out there:  we’re just as human as anyone.

And an overused quote: “Be the change you want to see”

 

The Anger .. The Fury.. An uproar

I am angry.. I am angry today.. I was angry yesterday.. I am constantly angry

 

Everybody is angry… it’s like we just woke up one day and we’re fed up of it all

 

The slavery, the lies, the superficiality everywhere; watching humans destroy, watching them steal, watching them oppress and suppress, watching them step onto fellow humans… we are mad… so mad and we cant take it in anymore

 

We’ve tried the whole bunch: the workouts, the dance classes, meditation? Praying? Getting married? Getting laid? Kickboxing the shit out of a sandbag? Nothing seems to make it any better.

 

Close your eyes

 

While this world pulls us towards two ends; one of rock and roll, alcohol, junk food, fashion, fame, porn, Hollywood, skinny legs, 10,000 dollar bags.. another of extreme religious beliefs and forms of superficial-spirituality (if that word even exists), drowning all the previous toxic delights under the notion that you are doing just fine… (That is of course if they hadn’t already send us to psychiatrists and got us all drugged and groggy )

 

I am angry.. angry at myself, angry at my friends, angry at my family and most of all angry with LIFE

 

You think that revolution we Egyptians had was what? Just some political act? You think everyone revolting in this world has any purpose anymore? You judge street boys as barbarians? I’d tell you one thing: we are all becoming uncivilized barbarians… we are all trying to find a strand of hair to hang on to, some hope, someone that would tell us everything will be ok… we are all boiling with rage and if you don’t feel it, then its about time you allowed yourself to… feel it coming deep down from your gut… your hands, skin start getting hot… pink (had to add that shade)… red… blood flushing everywhere… your face burns… and you just cant take that shit anymore…

 

The inner voice: You’re angry. Angry because you realize the world/life is not what you thought/they told you (whoever ‘they’ is) it would be. Because most people are still blind to the things that you see. But who are you really angry with? Them? Or yourself for only finding out now that everything they taught us and showed us is a farce?

SCREAM

 

I am angry

 

How many times have I felt this way I wouldn’t know. It feels like I’ve always been in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong people. With everyone giving me superstitious advice on being happy, being optimistic… the rage just grows stronger… WHO ARE YOU? (Why cant I try to see the world thru pink colored glasses anymore?)

 

Don’t they get it? Don’t they get that none of us is buying any of this? GAME OVER (hehe) Its too much, its just too much… it’s like you keep running trying to find that end of the tunnel… trying to find a ray of light… you wake up, and your on a treadmill, in a dark smelly hole, deep down in a gutter… and there’s nowhere to go…

ANGER… Everyone seems to talk about freedom like it even were an option… Well I’ll tell you this: that freedom of yours? Costs you MONEY.. You think you’re free? Try going anywhere in this world without money.. huh? Got it? Well see, you just can’t be FREE. Not with all the money in the world, from all the wrong places. Even the simplest form of freedom taken for granted turned out to be another big fat lie… We’re stuck.. You’re stuck… stuck in a hole until you can have the money for it… stuck in a hole until you can afford the standard of life and price tag that today gets you respect, no matter who you are or what you’re made of… if you and your entire family ain’t sitting on a pile of cash… you’re worth nothing… Oh and if you or anyone tries to give a speech about that being “so untrue” just go back and ask yourself “who the hell are you kidding son?”

 

Our mood swings seem to be going from high ups to high lows… extreme happiness for a second… swinging lower to indifference and denial, before crashing down to extreme hatred… hatred of it all.

 

I won’t be preaching to you on how to manage anger… I wont start claiming to know the way or truth to self actualization and peacefulness… there is no way… we are, here, today, in this world… suffering.. WE as in the somewhat passionate humans… most of us are already lost.. and I don’t think there is a way…

 

I only think people should start expressing their anger or being allowed to, before this anger turns into rage.. turns into fury that literally destroys everything around it. (Hey you! Stop judging other people’s anger)

 

I’m telling you this because a lot of you do not understand the strikes, the riots, the objection of so many people in such little time these past 2 years. I didn’t get it, at first at all,.. but then I took one look at myself.. and another look at my life… a glance at reality and my surroundings… and I felt the bubbles of rage coming up

 

CRASH and BURN

 

While everybody sat in their comfort zones… others grew angrier by the minute… and its not about politics anymore… it’s about humanity… it’s too late… and there is no Dark Knight to come down and save you from what you have brought upon yourself.

 

They say “Control your anger.. Before it controls you”

 

But … it’s that exact sense of control… that we all seem to be losing our heads over

 

Words of advice:

Drink responsibly (society still measures up your performance in nightclubs… the other way round I guess)

Do not get fired (or you’ll become more of a slave and a leech to fellow humans)

Do not trash that superficial class that might think they’re royal… (when we all know what they’re made of)

Don’t suck up to the power tit… (you’ll feel humiliated on the inside and it fuels your rage)

GO SHOPPING… (Money is so evil so you might as well spend it all)

A Day in the life of the bourgeoisie

Politics? Jobs? Shopping?… Eh Parties?

 

With everyone talking about sexual harassment, I was asked by friends to express my own opinion and tell my stories… But what could I possibly write to you?

I cannot speak up… For what I might say would hurt many… Should they realize that harassment is deeply embedded in this sick society, that even the most educated, privileged men… fathers, brothers, husbands, co-workers, bosses, clients (my list can go on)… are the very ones who try to exert their “power” to see how far their twisted brains could go… And then of course maybe it was my dress, or my suit or my shirt or… just the way I look! (Which I assure you ain’t quite the sexy look at all)

 

I am not talking!

 

Wake up, shower, get dressed (in the shirt, leather heels, pants, belt, blazer)…  Make sure you cover up well these days! Drive to work for an hour and a half, try to park for another good 20 minutes, gaze through the window at the faces you do not feel like encountering… Go to the office, count the hours, sign-in, sign-out, the days roll by.. Get paid (or not), work your butt off, long hours, pay the phone bill, the credit cards and car loan…

Stare at your screen (which is what I am practically doing)

Go on a weekend shopping spree. Buy things and pretend to feel good, eat junk, feel bad about it. Check the news, get drained. Hear the world in uproar, feel sympathy and unity. Get angry, get sad. Stay in your room. Help a little, give a little, pull back.

 

Misery. Monotonous days.

 

Who are we?

 

Most of us belong to what we label today as the “Bourgeoisie”. We are a people with a certain “acceptable” quality of life and a pretty good lifestyle. We work hard for it, spend on it… But recently everything happening seems to threaten our own existence.

Can we take it? Where do we go from here? Does anyone understand anything?

 

“By the 15^th of each month, I am always broke” .. I wonder how many of us actually repeat this sentence. I had days with a pound in my pocket and days with a couple of hundreds. We don’t know where we are going or why…

I worked since I was barely 16, in a society where people didn’t even need to work after they got married… When every daddy paid it all… But I had to.. and the wheels kept turning… Now we all have to… (Do we feel the world turning?)

 

Get up and do some useful shit

 

Money is never enough, yet we are better off than most of our people, we eat sleep and shop and work. Frankly speaking, I don’t think that’s a life. Let alone the fact that “We”, women, do not have our rights in this workplace or here, in this lifetime. “We”, the middle class bourgeoisie society, are struggling on the very tip of a cutting edge.. about to sink below to another level… another level we better never see…

And we dream of bags… And shoes “that make the world go round”

 

What do we do?

Despair?

 

Self education… the one thing that I never stopped doing was self educating myself. From book to book and page to page. Trying to learn new things, passing the message… And applying whatever good I learned to the job and hobbies I practiced.

 

We need to research, seek courses, look around, absorb, accept, listen, reach out…

 

Or do we just remain in our own bubbles?

 

(I like my own Pink bubble ever so much)

 

 

 

 

Ding Dong An arranged marriage is waiting for you!

Wedding season in Egypt eh? It is an extremely ‘fun time’ to be a woman in this country at this particular time of the year. With a society starting to mingle with this new trend on empowering women, focusing on women’s health, women this and women that when in real life it doesn’t really matter whom you are or what you do. I love how our society is consistently bombarding us with women figures trying to change the world, strong single female characters; when in fact, as a young Egyptian lady, nothing you do matters!!! YOU are labeled as some “incomplete” individual until you have that nice gold lifetime band wrapped around your finger. (Oh right! Everyone’s getting divorced now)

STOP LYING TO US!!!! It actually isn’t very ‘fun.’ I can’t help the thoughts rushing through my brain as I kick off these painful heels I was wearing for hours in what feels like the 100^th wedding I’ve been to this year. Out of the girl’s gang at school, I am the remaining single one. It is amazing how everyone compliments me as the strong successful working one who makes all of them so proud, while they each try so hard to shop for a good nice hubby for poor single me. Of course I never miss the opportunity to put them down by being the crazy unconventional workaholic independent little me encountering emasculated types of fools. Don’t get me wrong, I am so happy for them.. Although I couldn’t help noticing the flirtatious discreet text msgs going about with other male friends, and the uncontrollable cries that come out randomly from married friends on how they feel it was “kind of too early” or they “needed to explore the world a little more” or they’re “stuck because of the kids” or… sigh…

At work, you see girls either showing too much skin and flirting around or covering way too much skin with layers of cloth, both thinking corporates are the wedding arrangement saloon and to hell with being professional. What is wrong with us? Ah yes we are still bombarded by a society who focuses on weddings and popping babies rather than educating women for real! Media and society advertising girls getting married really young and fitting in and everyone looks at them as success stories so badly that no one really admits they’re sad or dumb or bored or chained, or that they sold their souls away just to please a society that never lets anyone off the hook.

I want to get married, I love kids, there is no woman who does not! But not like that! It is not the ONLY reason we are here and your empowering programs do not come from the heart or for the people. We are all forgetting women fighting for their rights, real women out there changing the world. We focus on the popular socialites looking for a spotlight (Please save a place for the rest of us)

All of this is very of confusing and upsetting if you are intellectual, independently successful, a bit plump or unconventional, outspoken, or any other of the qualities that we have never been allowed to be… or rather “that men punish us for”..

STOP LYING TO US!!!!

Ah now let’s see who is the perfect one for me… I still see life through pink colored glasses. I love how Pink is the color for breast cancer awareness (lol) and baby girls…

Thank God for drinks at weddings, for friends and family and for life. Thank God for music, nail polish and dresses and heels and all the pretty things we get carried away with.

Happy Engagement and Happy Wedding to the friends I love. (I will still have your husbands under a microscope waiting to dissect them if they ever think of harming you)

Your life is not limited to a marriage or a wedding ring or a nice apartment or society’s approval. You cannot please these tribes we live among. Our society hates itself within itself and nobody even accepts his or her own self. So just focus on you and everything else just falls into place…

I am FAT

I am Fat

“I’m not anorexic, I do eat.”

Hmm on another note “I would rather die skinny than live to be fat and ugly”

But what is fat?

How many times have we heard a friend or a sister or a relative or someone we know, who is far too skinny, but you cant point out where the issue is?

Or someone who looks just fine but skips dinner and has weird eating habits?

Or the new obsession over workout where people seem to spend their entire day and focus on only one thing “being extremely perfect”?

Doesn’t it sound a bit bizarre? Or inhuman?

I don’t think I would know at this stage. Or would I? I have read far too much, gone from one phase to the other, mastered hiding it so well by knowing far too much (as usual) that everyone around me seems to believe I’m fine.

I remember being 14, sort of muscular from all the tennis trainings and kind of what the fashion world or society for that matter would call today “Fat”?

I was in high school, dumped, and I remember my friends and mother’s clear advice “you got to lose weight”

But I love food!

So how do I start?

3 meals a day, almost every day.

Breakfast, lunch, dinner.

In a month, it actually becomes: Breakfast, lunch

A couple more weeks its: breakfast

And then…

I remember days when the last time I would have eaten would be two weeks ago.

“How can you accuse me? You see me eat, I’m not starving myself.”

Then my best friend taught me her trick: drink water, stick your finger, and get it out.

It’s amazing how much lettuce you can eat and keep below 100 calories, the soups you can make at 50-100 calories per serving. The meals you can make and show people you eat to calm them down.

I’m a master at these meals. I’ve read everything there is to anorexia and bulimia. Hell I even diagnosed friends with it and helped them all I can.

But how do I help me?

“I’m not anorexic, I do eat.”

Well, I am fat now. I am somewhat between 41-43 Kgs. Yes I wouldn’t know exactly, because I have a weight-scale phobia. I’m short and I haven’t got the slender skinny long legs… Total distorted body image. Raise your hand if you feel the same (Yeah don’t we all)

I look at myself in the mirror, find the fat, find the places where more pounds can be shed, tell myself that I’m not unhealthy, I’m still safe, there is no reason to stop yet.

I know I’m wrong.

I know I’m reaching a point where it becomes dangerous, I remember the anemia, the bad immune-system, the never-ending line of illnesses from the last time I was here.

I feel it closing in, I know the feeling in my bones.

Soon.

Not there yet, but soon.

Some days I try to fight it, force myself to eat. I tell myself off, try to get some sense into my stubborn head.

Most times I loose, the food I promised myself becomes a tiny cracker with tomato, tea, a piece of fruit, something like that. Or a huge binge that ends down the drain.

I’m not gonna go there again, I’m going to start eating, I’m not going to keep on like this, I am gonna find another way of feeling the control.

Tomorrow.

I hope they raise the awareness in this country to matters like this, where a simple distorted self image leads to a disease, in a society where only outer appearances matter and not real causes. I can name a list of both guys and girls with various types of eating disorders from Mild to severe, from Obsessive-compulsive workouts to starvation, bingeing and purging.

You are not alone.